I remember Grace's last night as a one-year-old baby. She was tucked snugly into her crib and I went to bed. I was about 8 months pregnant. As I laid there, suddenly it dawned on me that I was about to lose my baby to "biggirldom". She was in the other room, innocently sleeping, sweetly, happily unaware that her baby self was slipping away into the night. She would awake a brave new two-year-old with strange, bigger, harder things to face. Never again to be a tiny, coddled baby. There was nothing I could do about it. I had tried pretty hard to let Grace enjoy her baby time, controlling things so her environment would be just so. But I couldn't control this. So I tossed and turned the night away, mourning the loss for both of us, unable to sleep with the weight of it. I still feel it as I think of her baby years. They were such joyful, carefree, innocent, years, free from the emotional roller coaster of the 4Th year and the intensity of the 5Th and 6Th years. No worries.
I felt it again with Emma and her blatant turning of 2, no warning. She was so sweet and easy. Quietly going about her life, eating, sleeping, playing, hugging and loving everyone. Then, BAM! Two.
Now it Clara's turn.
It's her last week as a baby.
(Saturday chores - Clara's job is to get toilet paper and refill the tp holder in the extra bathroom.)
But on Sunday comes the big one. It's so hard for me to give up those baby years. They are special and perfect. With all the work of a baby comes the whisper of heaven... "Here's a little piece of Me for you." And they carry that wonderful, sweet, spirit and that heavenly love around, holding it out for you to look at... all the time. Those first two years before they have to get down to the business of growing up are a cherished time.
Oh, how I'm going to miss that!
And I remember